Birthday Messages

FOILED!

I 'd send flamingos, fifty, plastic, pink,
Half a gross of candles on a chocolate cake.
Why the date's a secret, I can't think.

I'd not go overboard; why do you shrink
From telling me the date? I'm not a flake.
I'd send flamingos, fifty, plastic, pink.

You should be honoured on your day, in ink:
A photo-ad, at least. Give me a break!
Why the date's a secret, I can't think.

I've got an order form from Parties, Inc.
They'll do a bash; two clowns, balloons, tube steak,
Flocking flamingos. Fifty. Plastic. Pink.

"It's Laurie's birthday!" Chapters' staff, in sync,
Could shout, "Hoorah!" to make the bookshelves quake.
Why the date's so secret, I can't think.

Let's do it right: the press, flashbulbs to blink,
A band to keep the neighbourhood awake,
Fifty flamingos, flocking, plastic, pink.
Why you keep it secret, I can't think.

(For Laurie, when he wouldn't tell me his birthday.)

HAPPY 25TH!

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY!

It is your 25th, isn't it? A half-century plus 2?"