Personal Safety on the Internet

For many of us internet message boards have become more than a “home away from home.” While online, we make friends with people who share our interests, hobbies, and even joys and sorrows. The internet affords a “safe” feeling of intimacy and friendship, without ever having to leave home. At the same time, it opens us up to the risk of an invasion of privacy that is unlike anything known before. How can you make friends online, while protecting yourself and your family from potential dangers?

Trust is of supreme importance in any friendship, but it becomes even more important when meeting people via the internet. People are often more trusting then they should be with those they have only met online. The use of screen names gives one a false sense of security. Also communicating from a distance may make one feel more secure giving out personal information about oneself or one’s family.

“Too much information” (TMI) is when you give out information regarding yourself or your family that shouldn’t be placed in the public domain. Often times this is done for the most innocent of reasons. It comes from an eagerness to share our accomplishments or those of our family with others. If done indiscriminately, you risk providing an Internet stalker with information that could be used to find out your location.

At the same time, you may be connecting with people who are similar to yourself, holding like values with the same interests. How do you differentiate between potential friends and possible threats? While there are many genuine people who do share common interests or give support there are some who may use these conversations solely to gain your trust. They may seem to share a common interest or are sympathetic to a problem you are having. They might appear to be willing to share personal information of their own or appear to have compelling personal problems that make them appear fragile and in need of a friend.

When meeting an internet friend for the first time:

1. Arrange a meeting in a safe, public place.
2. Always tell someone else where you are going and with whom you are meeting
3. Bring another person with you. Teens should bring a parent.
4. Use your instincts. If anything doesn’t seem right or comfortable to you, follow your judgments.
5. Meeting someone once doesn’t obligate you to a continued friendship with an internet friend.
6. Ask a trusted friend to call you on your cell phone at a prearranged time. Invent an agreed-upon signal to let the friend know that you are alright and another to give yourself the opening to leave if necessary. Say something like, “Sure, everything is great” or “Really? What happened? I’ll be there right away.”

How Anonymous are you Online? If you exchange emails, it’s possible that someone can find your name and location from your internet provider address. It's advisable to use a webmail service that doesn't automatically display HTML emails to respond to someone you don't know. DelphiMail, available to DelphiPlus members as part of the membership package, offers users that ability. Otherwise, these numbers associated with your online account, can yield personal information, including the name of the city in which you are located.

If you give your correct first and last name, as well as the name of the city in which you live and your phone number is listed in your public telephone directory, it’s possible for someone to put your name and city into a search engine and pull up your address and phone number. Even if you are unlisted, your personal data is available on the internet in a number of other sources, so don’t ever assume you can remain completely anonymous online.

Other than concerns about personal safety, there are other ways you can be violated online. There are many people using the internet to promote personal business ventures designed to part you from your money, your credit card or personal bank account information without giving something of equal value in return. Not all scams involve money. Some are a means of getting personal information about you or about your children.

Even a “free” offer may have hidden costs. One such offer is that of a “free” website. With the popularity of the Internet has come the popularity of the personal website. These are often filled with personal information. Hiring someone to build a site for you can be costly, so an offer to build a website for free can be awfully tempting. In order to have a website built you may be asked to give personal information to someone you only know via the Internet. In addition to that, this person has control over your website and can place other information not authorized by you on this website. Unless you have a password or access to the controls area, you cannot add or delete information from your own site. Webmasters have been known to create email accounts that go to them rather than to you. They can then answer emails for you. At some point, you may be asked to pay for the site or services.

If you do allow someone to receive and respond to email for you, enter into a contractual agreement to do so. Include an out clause should you wish to terminate the contract. If you register a domain name, do it yourself so you own the domain should the arrangement not work out.

With any type of internet business, either a free one or one with a charge, assume there may be hidden costs that are not readily apparent at first. Don’t fall for these scams involving money or the release of personal information.