by Melanie Anne Phillips
Nothing gets you read faster than a voice that doesn't match your
appearance. Many gender folk dress up to the nines and look like
goddesses...
until they open their mouths. Suddenly, in spite of the grace and
curves they
turn into truck drivers or lumberjacks right before your eyes. Clothes
may make
the man, but it is voice that makes the woman. Whether you are a
crossdresser or
transsexual, developing a truly FEMALE voice - not just a feminine one
- is of
paramount concern. When I began my transition, there was electrolysis
to worry
about, mannerisms... but it was voice that seemed to me the greatest
obstacle.
Like most, I tried simply feminizing my voice, softening the voice I
had. I
tried raising my pitch artificially, arriving at that bad falsetto that
forms
the stereotype of the transgendered marking them as parodies rather
than the
real thing. Eventually I even consider vocal chord surgery as a last
resort.Voice surgery made me nervous though. I had a fairly decent
singing
voice, I like to do character voices, I liked to sound dramatic when I
spoke.
But the thought of being read every time I uttered a word was enough to
tip the
balance to consider voice surgery, even though all end-results I had
heard were
not very convincing AND I had heard horror stories of those who as a
result of
the surgery lost their voices completely! I had just about resigned
myself to
that risk when, a few months intofull time, I stumbled into something
quite by
accident that has made thedifference in my career, my relationships, in
my life
as a whole: I learned to sound female. Notice I did not say "to talk
like a
woman", but rather "to sound female". This is because the secret
I found is not in the way one speaks but the way one sounds. I had been
trying
out different voices that day (as I did most days), sometimes trying to
sound
like a squeaky teenager, other times like a mature matron. For weeks I
had been
struggling with no progress to speak of. And then, this one day,
suddenly
something happened. My voice "slipped gears" and came down in a
different place than it had ever been. All at once, in one broad
stroke, the
TIMBER of my voice had turned female. I couldn't believe it! I actually
SOUNDED
female! I tried saying this and that and EVERYTHING sounded female.
This was
incredible! After all my fears and yearnings... well, it was almost
like
magically being transformed intoa woman! It was just about quitting
time when
this happened. At the time, I was working as Melanie, but still going
home to my
wife as Dave. The kids did not know about my transition yet. So each
night, I
would leave work, take off the nail polish and make-up, change my
clothes and go
home. So, I decided it was time to go back to my "drab" voice and do
Dave again for thenight. But when I tried to revert, I couldn't find my
old
voice. I tried again - nothing! Suddenly I felt that I really HAD been
transformed! That somehow my whole voice box had been changed to a
female form!
But this was terrible!!! My wife was going to kill me! After half an
hour of
unsuccessful attempts to get out of voice, there was nothing left to do
but face
the music. I drove home, stepped inside. Mary said, "How was your day?"
I replied, "Fine", but it wasn't Dave's voice, it was Melanie's voice,
and Mary threw a fit! "What's wrong with your voice?!", she demanded.
I explained what had happened and how I got stuck. She told me I had
darn well
better figure outhow to get my old voice back before the kids woke up
in the
morning. Try as I might, I met with no success. But then, over the
course of an
hour or so, my voice relaxed and the old voice came back. I was
saved!!! But
then, I worried that I couldn't get the new voice back again. After
all, it
happened by accident, and I really didn't know what I had done. At
first, I DID
lose the new voice. But then, I found it again, and practiced and
practiced
going in and out all the rest of the night. The next morning, the first
thing I
did when I woke up was try to find the new voice again, and there it
was, mine
to command! Over the following months, I worked on the fine points of
my voice,
adding all the incidental elements that affected not only my sound, but
the
manner in which I spoke. And now, over four years later and two years
after SRS,
I can report that my new voice is fine. If I choose I can still slip in
and out
of it at will. This voice has been crucial in my career advancement,
relationships and, best of all, my female voice has helped developed my
sense of
self as Melanie. In this article, I will share with you how I did it
and provide
all the steps you need to find your own female voice.
To begin, as I
looked back over the path I had taken, I discovered seven important
tools for
developing a feminine voice. Six of them work on the femininity but the
seventh
is the "secret" that actually makes one SOUND female. I'll describe
each briefly, then cover them all in greater detail. By name, the seven
tools
are Pitch, Resonance, Dynamic Range, Annunciation,Vocabulary,
Grammar, and
Body English.
PITCH: Most people assume that the primary
difference between men's and women's voices is Pitch. But we shall see
that the
actually difference in pitch between the sexes in minimal. In fact, the
overlap
of range between the sexes allows for almost ANY individual to fall
well within
accepted norms of pitch.
RESONANCE: Resonance is the real secret
of this method. Resonance is the modulation ofwhatever pitch you have.
It puts
the envelope on the voice that takes the pitch and assigns it Timbre.
In the
course of this article I will describe a simple exercise anyone can do
to find
that special place in their voice and develop a truly FEMALE resonance.
DYNAMIC RANGE: Dynamic Range describes the difference between
the
highest highs and the lowest lows that a person uses while speaking.
Men use a
very narrow dynamic range, even though they are quite capable of
extending that
range. It is simply a matter of training, not physiology. In contrast,
women use
a much WIDER dynamic range, which is what gives their voices more of
a"sing/song"effect.
ANNUNCIATION: Annunciation is the way you pronounce your words.
Just
as one might do a dialect, there is a female dialect that transcends
languages
and cultures. I will describe a means for developing a fully feminine
annunciation. VOCABULARY: Yes there are masculine and feminine words.
In our
culture, certain words are almost exclusively reserved for males and
others for
females. I will cover some of these and show you how to be on the
lookout for
more.
GRAMMAR: Being masculine or feminine has a lot to do with
brokering power. When one forms words into sentences, the ORDER of
words as well
as modifiers and parentheticals change the position of power of the
speaker.
We'll look into ways to adopt the "power level" appropriate to the
many roles played by either sex.
BODY ENGLISH: Body English is
they way you move while you talk. In fact, it has an actual impact of
how the
voice itself will sound. By using the proper Body English while you
speak, you
can improve the femininity of your voice - even on the phone!Now that
we've seen
the overview of what will be covered, let's move on tothe first of
these areas
in depth.
PITCH: What do Susanne Pleshette, Marline Detrich,
Cher, and Bea Arthur have in common? They all have VERY low voices! In
fact,
they have voice LOWER in pitch than most of the male population.
However, we
would never mistake them for men! In fact, at least three of the four
are
generally considered rather sexy. When women have low voices they are
not
considered masculine. Rather, their voices are referred to as "husky".
How can they get away with that? Because the difference between the
average male
voice and the average female voice is only about 1/2 octave. That's
right! Just
1/2 octave! It is not the pitch that makes them sound female, but the
Resonance!
Because each of us has at least a 1 1/2 octave range to their voice and
most of
us have two octaves or more, there is a lot of overlap between the
pitches of
the two sexes if there is only a 1/2 octave AVERAGE difference. That
means there
is just half an octave higher that some women can go that no men can
and only a
half an octave lower that some men can go that no women can.My voice
now is only
2 or 3 notes higher on the scale than it was before I started. But the
audible
impact is quite difference. That is because it is not how HIGH you
pitch your
voice, but where you pitch it FROM that makes all the difference! Once
you get
your voice coming from the right place, it doesn't really matter what
pitch it
is at all. And the added bonus is, with the Resonance secret we will
discover,
you get 2 or 3 notes of increased pitch as well (which, though not
crucial,
doesn't hurt!) So let's move on to that area without further delay!
RESONANCE:
What is Resonance? Imagine an orchestra. Now imagine the same not being
played
by a violin, a trumpet, and an oboe. They all have different sounds,
even though
they are all playing the same note. This is because the tone they play
is "modulated"
differently. Each has its own unique Resonance. In a trumpet, that
resonance is
created in the coils. It is created in the body of the violin or in a
cello.
That body is a chamber in which the sound can vibrate, mixing and
intermixing to
create complex wave forms with many striking and identifying
harmonics.That
chamber is like our own voice box. Men have a larger voice box. That's
what
makes their Adam's apple larger and their voices add more low-end
resonance.
Women have a smaller voice box and as a result have less low end
resonance. So,
in a sense, men have MORE harmonics than women. This is fortunate for
those in
the masculine gender who wish to be perceive in the feminine. The whole
trick is
to learn to us LESS of your voice. You've go tit already, you are using
it
already. Its not something you have to add to sound female, but
something you
need to suppress. The problem is, that when men go into a falsetto,
they
suppress ALL of the harmonics, resulting in that silly high-pitched
voice that
is surely a dead give-away. Let's try an experiment to drive the point
home. Put
your finger of one hand on the top of your larynx, at the top of your
Adam's
apple. Place the fingers of your other hand at the very bottom of your
larynx,
below the Adam's apple. Now, speak aloud in your normal masculine
voice. You
will note that both the top AND bottom of the larynx vibrate almost
equally as
you speak.Keeping your fingers in place, go into a falsetto and speak.
You will
note that there is hardly ANY vibration in either the top OR bottom!
The
exercises we are going to learn will allow you to create a voice that
vibrates
ONLY at the bottom and NOT at the top. This effectively cuts the part
of the
voice box used in half and thereby loses the lowest of the harmonics,
leaving
almost EXACTLY the same range of harmonics as a genetic female voice.
Exercise
#1: The female voice I've discovered feels like it sits
"behind"
your normal speaking voice. After I had used it for a while, I found
there were
two easy to get to this place - a place your voice does not usually go
while you
are speaking. The first way is with Falsetto, the second way is by
gargling.
A. Falsetto: Start with your highest falsetto. If you
sound like a cartoon character with big round ears that lives in
Anaheim, you've
got it! Now take that voice and bring the pitch down as low as you can
WITHOUT
BREAKING YOURVOICE. You see, if you break your voice it will "come out
front" again, and you'll be using the full voice box for modulation -
just
what you don't want. Take your voice down as low as you can go in
falsetto.
That's the spot. You will notice that neither the top nor bottom of
your larynx
is vibrating very much, if at all. Now, before I explain what to do
once you get
to that spot, let's examine the other method of arriving there. If you
try both
methods, one will work best for you. Also, by trying both, you will
have a
better sense - a "cross reference" of where your voice needs to be.
B. Gargling: Just go back in your throat the way you
do when
you gargle and make that standard gargling sound. When you do, you will
automatically tighten up your throat. You will find that your voice is
resonating from exactly the same place either with the lowest falsetto
or the
gargling. However, with the gargling, you can actually feel both the
top and
bottom of your larynx vibrating.The point you want to reach for this
voice is
the center between where you put your voice to gargle and the lowest
falsetto
you have. Some people like to do character voices for fun. If you can
do a
little old man or old woman, say "The Alludium Q38 Space Modulator, or
do
the Wicked Witch of the West, you are very near the spot. As I
mentioned
before, the first time I found this voice I hit it by accident. Then I
got
stuck. So if you try this exercise and are not living full-time as a
woman, make
sure you have an hour or so to find your way back to male voice just in
case.
Now, what you are actually learning to do is develop one set of the
muscles on
your larynx while not using the others at all. This is a tough trick
-kind of
like wiggling your ears or patting your head while you rub your tummy.
It takes
practice - LOT'S of practice. But don't practice too much right at the
start.
Once you find the voice it is such a magical experience that you want
never to
come back. But you will find that using the lower set of muscles to do
all the
work leads to hoarseness at first. This is your body's way of telling
you that
you should knock off for a while. I found that during the first week I
used this
voice, I could only go abou thalf an hour or so before I got hoarse.
Then, I had
the good sense to rest my voice. Just like doing exercises for the
body, you
don't want to do too much too fast of you will injure yourself. For me,
it took
about six months to fully develop my voice to the point I could use it
all day
long. Then, it took another six months to fully develop loudness and
dynamic
range. But these things did come with practice and patience. I imagine
that
eventually, the other muscles at the top might atrophy if, like me, you
just
don't use them at all. However, for those of you switching back and
forth, both
will stay in tone and like me, even now after four years, I can still
call up
the old voice if I have to. For me,that's about once a year when I need
to
demonstrate to a friend that it is possible to do this. So, don't push
it. I'm
no medical doctor. I can't tell you exactly what's going on physically,
nor can
I guarantee you won't cause yourself problems. I can merely say that
for me, I
have been using this voice for over four years with no apparent ill
effects.
Now, trying to describe a voice in a text article is a bit difficult. I
understand this. That is why I've created a VHS video tape called
"Melanie
Speaks!" where I demonstrate these techniques so you can hear them,
copy
them, and learn to do them on your own. The tape runs 49 minutes long
and is
available for only $20.00 plus $4.95 shipping and handing in cash,
check or
money order by writing to me at:
Heart Corps
P.O. Box 295
Burbank,
CA 91503
And, if you want to hear a sample of my voice, you can dial my
business phone which is always on an answering machine at (818)
840-0381. Now
that we've had this word from our sponsor, we return to our regularly
scheduled
program.
Having covered Resonance, and discounted Pitch, its time to move
on to the other five steps that can feminize your voice. Remember,
Resonance
creates a FEMALE voice, these other well-known steps are useful in
FEMINIZING
whatever voice you have.
DYNAMIC RANGE: When I first started
using my new female voice, the muscles were only developed enough to
create a
very monotone sound. In fact, it took me six months to get a good
Dynamic
Range.As I mentioned earlier, Dynamic Range is the difference between
the
highest pitch and the lowest pitch used in conversation. Women use this
range to
put emphasis into their conversation. It brings extra meaning to the
words
beyond their normal definitions by putting a different "spin" on them.
Men use a different technique for emphasis: they get louder or softer
within a
narrow range of tones. So, in conversation, a man will "punch" some
words and hold back others. In this manner they "make their point". In
contrast, women will rise and lower in tone while keeping roughly the
same
amplitude or loudness. This is a striking difference in speech patterns
and is a
key identifier of a masculine or feminine personality. Keep in mind
that
masculine women will adopt the loudness approach in monotone, and the
feminine
man will rise and fall in tonality with even amplitude. You'll notice
the
difference in the way women speak when you call them on the phone. If
you are a
man and call a company getting the female receptionist, her voice will
be up in
the scale, high in note so as to be cheerful and non-threatening. If
she hears a
man calling her she will stay there at that range of pitch. But if you
are a
woman calling in and get the same receptionist, she will answer the
phone the
same way, but as soon as she hears that it is a woman calling her, she
will
lower her tonal range.This happens because men control the power in the
world,
especially in business. As a result, as a woman, unless you are very
assertive
by nature, you don't want to appear threatening. Men in business
compete with
men and also with women who are threatening. However, since women have
to stick
together to get anything done in a male world, they must form a
conspiracy. When
men in business get together its a competition, when women in business
get
together its a conspiracy. And this difference in approach and status
is
reflected in the higher or lower tonal range that a woman adopts
depending upon
the gender of the other party. Similarly, if a woman IS assertive and
using
amplitude to punch her emphasis, a non-assertive woman will keep her
voice high
to show she is not a threat. Now, this is easily seen in women because
they
naturally use a wider dynamic range. But have you ever noticed how a
man's voice
goes up a few notes whenever he fears a superior is angry with him? Now
another
aspect of Dynamic range is "stair step tonalities". What I mean by
this is that in every group of several words a woman will string
together in a
sentence, usually no two are spoken at the same pitch. This is what
makes
women's voices sound so "sing song". In fact, they ARE singing!
Sometimes the stair steps go down to lower into that conspiratorial
tone. Other
times they go up to raise the emotional stakes. Often they rise and
fall like
sine waves to rush up under a phrase, then retreat like a wave on the
sand.
Speaking in stair step tonalities is best learned by listening to
others, but it
is learned, not intrinsic. Just like Dynamic Range, it is a function of
conditioning rather than biology. So, Dynamic Range is largely a
masculine/feminine issue rather than a male/female one. How to learn
it,
however, is best covered in our next area.
ANNUNCIATION:
Annunciation describes the shape into which words are formed. Men lean
toward
denotation rather than connotation. In other words, men get the job
done as
quickly as possible with the most focus. When speaking they hit the
edges of
words like square waves, cutting each one like they were chopping
carrots.In
contrast, femininity more connotation oriented. Women are not as
concerned with
the meaning of a word so much as its context, and that context is
expressed in a
more flowing, graceful manner. Women will round the edges of their
words to
avoid cliffs and walls. Believe it or not, the best source I've found
as an
example of this is with Valley Girls. Val Speak for girls puts an
envelope on
the words that sing songs with stair steps, rounds the words and flows
the
hidden agenda of meaning in the background context. I suggest that you
rent
either Whoopi Goldberg's stand up comedy routine on video tape or the
movie "Valley
Girls". Both of these have the feminine dialect down pat. It is MUCH
easier
to go overboard to an extreme and then tone it down than to try to
build up from
where you are now. There is so much initial embarrassment trying to
speak female
AND each step requires additional work and additional habits to be
broken. You
learn one level of success then have to unlearn that to get to the
next. But if
you jump all the way to the extreme and use that, it will begin to
average out
with the annunciation you are using now and will tone itself down until
it is
right on the mark for normal conversation as today's woman. Now, I
referred
above to the "feminine dialect". But it is much more than that. IN
fact, the annunciation and dynamic range of femininity is applied to
every
language and every culture in the world. The words and grammar may
change, but
the connotation of the feminine meaning is a universal language that
can be
understood from woman to woman in times and worlds apart. Still, it is
not
stilted or defined. In fact, it is quite flexible. Women do not live a
single
role, but many, as mother, wife, career woman, friend. As such, she
plays
variations of the feminine dialect depending upon the role without ever
losing
the femininity. This can be accomplished by realizing that the feminine
dialect
is not one thing but several blended together. As a woman shifts from
role to
role, she uses the same tools, but with different emphasis depending
upon the
situation. The voice that I use with my girlfriends is different than
the voice
I use when lecturing at work to my interns. The voice I use with my
boyfriend is
different than the voice I use with my wife. Get away from the binary,
free
yourself from definition. Go with the flow, be flexible, and play with
variations on a theme.
VOCABULARY: Think about the phrase, "I
Got a pain in my gut." Who would say that, a man or a woman? A woman
might
say, "I have a pain in my stomach.", or, if she really wanted to be
obnoxious, "My tummy hurts..." (GAK!) The point is, that some words
are more masculine or feminine that others. Part of this again derives
from the
brokering of power. For example, a man usually "wants" something while
a woman "would like" something. "Want" means "lack"
and implies "need" which further implies the right to have. This
reflects the aggressive side of the power equation. On the other hand,
"would
like" states a preference, not an intent, and therefore runs the idea
up
the flagpole to see if anyone is against it before acting. This
reflects the
submissive side of the power equation.You can notice the difference in
the way
men and women will order at the speaker of a drive-through fast food
restaurant.
A man will say, "I want a Big Mac.", whereas a woman will say, "I'd
like a salad, please." This point was driven home to me when I was
working
on a movie as a Director of Photography. When I worked this position as
a man, I
would just tell the crew exactly what I wanted and they would hop to!
But on the
first day of this two day shoot I was working with a crew I had not met
before.
AND it was my first D P job as a woman. So, I went to work as usual,
telling
everyone exactly what I wanted: "I want a 1K mini in that corner as a
set
light and a half K kicker with a yellow filter as a hair light." Nobody
moved. I looked around wondering why nothing was happening. Finally I
just said,
"Okay, let's go to work", and they did. But they went ever so slowly.
And the more I told them what I wanted, the slower and less precise
they became.
At the end of the day, we had only accomplished half of what I had
wanted to. We
were WAY behind schedule. These guys had moved five times slower than I
was used
to. So I went home and thought about it and then it hit me... What if
they
didn't like being told what a woman "wanted"? So, the next day, I
brought the crew together and said, "Today I'd like to put a little
light
back there to light up the set and could you rig something to get some
yellow
light on her hair?" They looked at each other wondering if this was the
same person, then the crew captain said, "Okay, let's get to work",
and they moved twice as fast as the previous day. By the time we were
finished
we had made up all the lost time. Somehow by my telling them what I
"wanted"
I had emasculated the crew, because I was putting myself above them in
skill.
But by telling them what I'd like, they worked to give it to me. Of
course, they
still worked only half as fast as they would have when I was a male DP,
but at
least it was twice as fast as the day before. So, as a woman, you're
going to
have make workers not give you the same effort you would get as a man,
but at
least you can limit the damage by telling them what you'd like, even
though you
know exactly what you want!Now another thing men do is slur. They might
say, "I
hafta gota the store"."Hafta" is not a word! "Gota" is
not a word! A woman might say, "I have to go to the store." Or even
more, she might say, "I ought to." "Have to" is driven by
need." "Ought to" is driven by should". Its really a
question of Instigation vs. Obligation and is yet another example of
the Power
Equation in our society. Look for those power words and if you want to
be
feminine, avoid them like the plague.
GRAMMAR: Grammar deals
with sentence structure and parentheticals. Keeping on the Power
Equation
concept, men are supposed to be assertive in our society, women
submissive.
Women can have moods, but not opinions. Men might say they were "going
to
do" something, but women would say "I'm thinking of doing"
something. Now, I use the terms "men" and "women" because
those are the standards for our society by sex. But it is really (like
all of
these points) a matter of masculine vs. feminine. It is the issue of
cooperation
vs. conflict. This article is not about breaking stereotypes, but
becoming a
stereotype. Once you have arrived, BELIEVE ME, you will find LOTS of
reasons to
break them!! But first you must go to the extreme and then tone it
back. Keep in
mind that there is hardly a woman alive who does all these things. But
by using
most of them regularly in different combinations, you can have your
overall
speech pattern fall more within the feminine range than it does now.
BODY ENGLISH: They last area we will explore is Body English.
This is
simply the way you move when you speak. Body English supports voice and
voice
supports Body English. If a feminine voice is like a song, feminine
Body English
is like a dance. When you put the song and the dance together, they
create
harmonies between them that underscore and counterpoint, making the
entire
process a symphony. The most interesting part is that voice and Body
English
actually change each other. Try saying something while standing
absolutely
still. Then try speaking with broad gestures. You will hear a
difference in your
voice just because you are moving. Many gender folk using the phone get
so
nervous they freeze up physically and it can be heard loud and clear in
their
voice. But if you move in rhythm to your thoughts, your voice will
follow. Even
on the phone you will sound more feminine AND more human!
IN CONCLUSION:
So, this is what I have to offer from my personal experiences. I hope
youfind it
of interest and use. Again, if you feel you could benefit from some
"real
time" instruction, you can order my VHS video, "Melanie Speaks!"
as indicated above.
Good luck to you in your journey and my best wishes for the future
you
desire. Visit my home page at:
http://www.well.com/user/melanie/
© 1996 Melanie Anne Phillips