TFB Newsletter   5th Anniversary Edition             

(Quarterly: Apr ’06 – Jun ‘06)          Return to TFB Website

 KS13407

"There are five candles on this cake.  Started in April of 2001, we now celebrate the 5th anniversary of the board!  Perhaps in the overall scheme of things, 5 years is not long, but for a small niche forum like TFB, it’s a milestone!  It’s truly a testament to the people who participate on this board, because this board is about people.

In the first year or two, TFB had only a handful of posters.  Much to my delight, some of our posters from 2001 are still posting today.  And the saying is true, that the more things change, the more things stay the same.  Over the course of the last 5 years, TFB has gone through some changes.  We’ve grown, and posters have come and gone.  However through it all, we’ve managed to keep TFB a high quality “gentlemens” board.  We have been successful in our mission to foster the discussion of TF relationships in an intelligent, mature, and civil forum. 

Most importantly, TFB has become a repository of valuable information.  We all know that an inter-cultural marriage is not easy.  Thai culture and the “Thai way” is an enigma for most westerners. There are so many complicating factors…the BG factor, socio-economic and educational disparities, the in-laws, dowry, support, and other issues.  There is also a multitude of issues when you take a Thai and put her in a foreign land…immigration and assimilation, and so forth.  All these issues have been discussed and debated--everything from sinsot to divorce, from K1 to citizenship, and the day-to-day things like calling cards, Thai TV, ESL, temples in falangland, Thai markets, etc. 

So on this 5th anniversary of TFB, I extend my gratitude to the many regular posters who are truly the engine that keeps this board running--TFBers over the years like: ABC, AF, Arod, BBeast, Bm3x, Bologna, CalE, Camca, Cent, Chant, Chewie, Chitown, Chivas, Crash, Davedow, Dbric, DJ, Ebigall, Ferngully, Golf1, HSteach, Hub, Iji, IrishB, IronG, Jaiguru, Josh, Kaopad, KhunGary, Laxman, LJ59, LoongDan, Markcode, Mit, MoonM, MovieM, Mrebooks, Nepenthe, NSG, PaulD, RadW, Richard, Rakendall, RickN, RoongR, SamiS, SanukD, Sakeopete, Schuby, Soi33, Soongmak, StLJP, Stickman, Thaimagic, Thaisilk, Thsrt, Tpcat, TravelinG, Tumpoo, Utah, WFWEsq, Vertigo, VoxV, WhosYD, Wittleus, Zenseek, Zipster... just to name a FEW random names-- I wish I could list EVERYONE's names!  Without ALL the 'regulars', there would be no TFB.  Thanks also to the many occasional posters who chime in with useful advice every now and then—you are also an integral part of the board.  And to all the visitors and lurkers who hang around, I hope you will join in on bandwagon.  Finally, to the moderators, Bkksw, Jaybloom, Jeff, SamuiG--thank you for your dedication and support of TFB.  Here’s to another 5 years, and I wish everyone the best of luck in this journey we call life." 

Hono (Host/Web editor)     

  Congratulations go out to the following TFBers:

Tpcat, birth of baby girl

Zipster, 3 yr wedding anniversary

ChivasGeo, 1 yr wedding anniversary

Laxman, married on 2/14 (Valentines)

Hub, received greencard

Mrebooks & Chewie,  received AOS  

If you’re celebrating a "milestone", such as a wedding, special birthday or anniversary, birth of a child, moving to Thailand, an immigration milestone (visa approved), or have any “news” you’d like to share, please post on the board.  We’d like to join in your celebration!

TFB webpage/board updates:  

 

  Happy 5th Birthday, TFB!   Member comments:

"While some forums come and go, and others are full of fluff and filler that's easily forgotten by the time you click on the next page, the TFB forum has become a lifeline of sorts to many people, a constant reference source, and because of it's subject matter will be useful and survive as many years as the host wishes to dedicate his hard work into maintaining it.."  Bkksw

“CONGRATULATIONS on 5 year anniversary. I joined TFB sometime around May 2004; mainly I was looking for information for the K-1 Visa. And…man….BINGO!! It was like opening a treasure chest!! So much information about the K-1 processes. Eventually, my then fiancée, got her K-1 visa, came over the USA Jan 2005 and we’re now happily married and with our first child (btw, he is now going on 5 months!)  And not only was the TFB a valuable source for processes on the K-1 Visa, members here also were able to help with the AOS processes as well. And with that help, my wife got her Conditional  PR status last Aug 2005.  I’ll always be grateful for the helped received here, from the time Mr. TFB himself…. HONO… personally met with me to review the I-129F package to numerous questioned answered by MANY fellow TFB members, one in particular is JEff!! When it comes to paperwork and procedures, he’ll always direct you in the proper direction.  Last but not least..... TFB enabled me and my wife to network with people (virtually) and  with local members within the Bay Area and also out of state. Most likely , my wife and I would have never been able to meet such GREAT members and their families if TFB did not exist.”  ChivasGeorge

“Congrats to all who have made this forum so great!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't think any of the forums I belong to (I subscribe to 59 in total) have as much useful info within as this one does.  I know that 99+% of everything I've read here has been useful info presented in a friendly and helpful manner and I know that the few members in this forum we have met have all been outstanding friends. I look forward to continue to learn from this group and to meet each and every member somewhere, sometime.”  Ken&Lat

“Many thanks to you Hono and everyone else here that has made TFB such a great board.  Tho I've not needed the excellent visa info .. yet ..  I've enjoyed checking in here occasionally over the past three years and really appreciate all the other resources (maps, news, member experiences, etc.) provided.   I'm sure this site will provide yet another five years of excellent reading for present members and the many future readers to come.”  Tumpoo

“Hono and all members of TFB, Thanks!!!I owe all my recent happiness to this forum... When I found "Love in LOS", I had NO idea what that would mean in terms of bureaucratic regiment...My first attempt in finding out the "How to I get her here" was met with a resounding "No Way" from a Thai based Immigration Attorney/Service...But for $1,500, we'll try TWICE for you, ugh...  Luckily it was then that I found TFB and started to get positive feedback, instructional information and specifically two lengthy e-mails from Attorney Bill White, which, at the time, caused me some consternation, did direct me toward the light at the end of the tunnel...  I know, that without the TFB board, I would not have my wife with me today...  I have grieved with some of the developments experienced by some of the members of this board when their relationships fell apart, however, I feel so lucky, that throughout the 15 months my wife has been here, we have not experienced any of the cross cultural difficulties often described in this forum as well as posted elsewhere...But these experiences, maybe have prepared me for the traps others have fallen into, and thereby allowed me to avoid making some mistakes...It's the sharing of difficulties, that can be so helpful to others, that exemplifies the foundation of the TFB...To me anyway...Again thanks...”  Mrebooks

"... A tremendous resource, information-wise, socially, hopefully, intellectually and emotionally. Thank you one and all."  Zipster

Random Quotes:  randomly selected passages from recent postings, simply to showcase a sampling of the collective wit and wisdom on the board.  In conjunction with the introduction of "TFB Marriage Tips", in this issue we feature a quote from TFBer Ken Bower (married to his Thai wife for 11 years).        

"We ALL meet thousands of people in our lives, perhaps millions. We are free, in mind, to chose those we like as friends, lovers, spouses etc. At the time you meet each and every person, an instant decision is made in your mind, and later developed in your heart as to the worthiness of that person to become special as a friend, lover, spouse.  In order for friendships to develop in any catagory we must first accept all that person's faults and differences from our own.  Development of the friendship/relationship depend on this happening.  Every time you do not accept that person "off the shelf", as is, you weaken the relationship.  Every person in the world is different.  Those who hope to develop relationships MUST learn to live with people who have different lifestyles, opinions, characteristics.  One should have already learned this by the time they are school age as they probably have already had to deal with family members in which differences developed.  We all know you can't trade in family members so early acceptance is vital. 

Now in choosing lovers and spouses, it seems to me that there is something "very special" about those we meet that we even consider as "worthy" of that status. As the relationships develop, there are times in each of our lives when we wonder if this person indeed is "worthy" I'd suppose, and there are probably times when we wonder what was so special about this particular person in the first place that drew our attention to her/him. That's when we must be true not only to our mind but our heart.  We must instantly evaluate what special characteristics about this person make her/him so special, and what we must do to keep this person in our lives. (I don't like to use the put her/him on a pedestal phrase, but  would have to admit that it is what I do with my wife).

Now, when dealing with the one very special person (significant other/wife/life's partner), financially, if you are unwilling to share everything you have in life with this person, you are with the wrong person. Sinsot IS widely accepted as a part of the marriage ceremony in Thailand for example.  IF you are unwilling to accept and give whatever you CAN, then perhaps a Thai wife is not in the cards for you as perhaps you are a bit self serving and do not feel that marrying someone does not mean sharing everything you both have and are together.

Now if somewhere down life's journey something goes wrong and the relationship fails, in most cases, imho, it is very tragic.  Too many times, one member terminates the relationship before thinking about how he/she loved the partner so very much in the first place and all the qualities that made that person so very special and how he/she choose this one person to spend the rest of their lives with and then decided they were wrong. Now there are valid reasons for people to part.  Infidelity, dishonesty, or instable mental state come to mind.  We can also tend to blame a partner for our shortcomings in our losing a job, trying to change our persona too much etc.  Lots of reasons really.  But IF you have the person you are meant to be with, and learn to accept that person as your life's partner, you will be living the life supreme that most only see/feel when attending a romantic movie. I'm now reading what I've written and acknowledge that it's quite meaningless in that it only applies to me and my persona..." Ken&Lat

The next quarterly newsletter will come out in July ’06.  Newsletter features such as TFB Tidbits, etc. will return, and we hope to add some new features as well.  If you have any suggestions for the newsletter, please email or post.